Learn to be happy, despite the chaos.

Maybe this is something you’ve mastered, but for me, it’s something that I’m just starting to learn.

You see, on the outside I may look well put together (for the most part), but on the inside, I really struggle from time to time. What people may not know about me when they look at me point blank is that I’ve lived most of my life around chaos. This is not to say that I didn’t have a great upbringing (I did) or that everything is always wrong in my life. In my 31 years, I’ve experienced spent a great deal focusing on the care of others- everything from life-threatening illnesses in my immediate family to focusing what others think about me. This caused me to be both anxious and depressed- feeling like a constant grey cloud was over me. It’s funny, because most people would probably never know it. I’m typically known to present myself as a bubbly, happy, and outgoing person. I guess I’m a good actor. Of course there were many, many moments of extreme joy, but I didn’t know how to maintain a level of balance that didn’t go from one extreme feeling to the other.

Until recently- within the past year or so- I didn’t really realize that I need to take care of myself wholly. My mind, my body, and my soul. I decided a few months back that I’m going to learn to be happy, despite what chaos may be around me. This is not some trend, like #100HappyDays. I don’t feel the need to project or prove my happiness. For me, it’s about learning to be in the moment, whether it’s good or bad, and recognizing that happiness is a choice. Yes- it takes an immense amount of effort. And what happiness is can vary. It doesn’t mean that you need to always be “on” with a smile on your face and exuding a bubbly attitude. It’s about being present and owning what you are feeling, even when it’s not 100% great.

I’m find that happiness is a journey too. Maybe instead of the whole “do one thing a day to make yourself happy”, choose it as a state of mind.

What makes you #RadiateDaily?