Why It’s Never Personal

Written by contributing blogger, Daniela Forte.

For weeks now my good friend and I have been talking about how we’re impacted so deeply by other people’s actions. How much we each take an emotional hit based on what others do.

We take it personally. Now, taking things personally isn’t always a bad thing, but it isn’t a good thing either. If you’re a sensitive soul like my friend and I you understand the agony and pain that happens when something feels (keyword there) is targeted at us.

What do we do when we feel this way? We internalize, we overanalyze, we cry, we scream, we get angry and we stop living our lives. It is almost as if we are paralyzed by our circling thoughts that never seem to end. When my friend and I chat, our conversations usually consist of giving advice to one another about how what other people do is never personal.

I have had many moments in my life where I have taken things personally, in fact I always take things personally. It doesn’t matter what it is.
Where does this leave me? Depleted, exhausted and unwilling to join in on life around me.

So what can I tell you all who take things so personally like me?

Allow yourself to Feel: Don’t try to defend your feelings to anyone. I have done that and it has only made me feel worse. No one is in your shoes nor do they understand how you feel whatever it is you have going on.

Take Your Time: All of these feelings don’t last forever (thank God!) so allow yourself to go through the process at your own pace. Retreat if you have to, sit and work through those emotions (even the ugliest of ones) and understand that nothing lasts forever and you will get where you need to be from this.

Think of Three Reasons: A friend of mine believes in this wholeheartedly. Think of three reasons why what a person has done to you has absolutely nothing to do with you.   I can hear you all right now, “But… how could it not have anything to do with me?” Trust me, it doesn’t. So sit down and make a list of three reasons and if that doesn’t work, think of three more until you feel better. It’s a brain switch to stop you from driving yourself absolutely insane.

Come to an Acceptance: This is the part that can take a long time to get to. But if you do all of above, you will get there! I promise. It’s not an easy road, but it is an important one.

Pray, Get Sleep and Eat: Pray, sleep and eat. Oh and hydrate too! In all seriousness though, don’t punish yourself because of others actions, because trust me they’re sleeping and eating just fine.

This is all I really have at the moment, but just know you’ll be okay.


image source – pixabay

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