When Is It Ok to Be Selfish?

Written by contributing blogger, Daniela Forte. 

No one ever likes being selfish. It’s such an uncomfortable feeling, (at least for me) but there are certain times in your life when being selfish is a must.

I can’t say I’m selfish, sometimes I think that’s the problem with my dealings with people and situations. I worry and think more about others often forgetting myself in the process.   We are taught at a young age that being selfish is a bad thing, but I am finding that as I get older, it is definitely a must when it comes to taking care of you, body, mind and spirit.

So when is it ok to be selfish? Well here are a few times that being selfish is definitely a must.

When You Are Faced with a Big Decision: Sometimes the decisions you make involve other people, it’s the nature of the beast. But other times, big decisions like moving to a new location, ending a relationship and/or friendship, or just simply choosing to be happy calls for being selfish. You are forced to think of yourself, and less about others. It’s important with big decisions that you do look at all that is involved and take everything into account, but at the end of the day, you will ultimately need to make the best decision for yourself, no matter what the cost.

When Your Happiness is Involved: Being happy is something we all strive for; especially if we haven’t had the life we would necessarily want for ourselves. Sometimes being happy means letting go of things that no longer work for you, doesn’t give you peace in your heart. Being happy requires a little bit of selfishness on your part in order to get what you deserve.

When It Comes to Your Health: Your health is yours and yours alone. So being selfish in this aspect of your life is vital. How you choose to take care of you is solely your decision and no one else. No one can tell you how to take of yourself, no one can tell you what is right and what is wrong.

Spending Time Alone: Spending time by your self is absolutely a good reason to be selfish. You need your alone time to do things that you enjoy, getting to know who you are and becoming friends with you.   Take a lavender scented bath, read that book you have been meaning to get to, play extremely loud music and sing at the top of your lungs… anything that you enjoy doing, do it.

When You Stop Looking Out for You: Our daily lives can make us run in circles at times. We are always on the go; we always have demands on our plate that often times take us away from ourselves. We have demands at work, we have demands in our personal lives, and it’s so hard to simply stop and look out for ourselves. We need to look at what is important and what isn’t.

And when is not okay to be selfish?

Well, when it’s all that you are, all the time. That isn’t good. It’s not okay to be selfish when you show no consideration for people’s feelings and emotions. It’s not okay to be selfish when you can’t look beyond yourself and the things going on in your life.   While taking care of yourself, take care of those that care about you. Be there for your friends, your family. Show them how much they mean to you.

Like I said up top, I have always been the exact opposite of selfish, I have always worried about others more than myself and what has it done for me? Caused me years and years (and years…sadly) of hurt when the people I cared for most in this world didn’t care about me or how I felt. I am not playing the violin of the past, but as I get older, I am see things about myself and those I choose to interact with on a daily basis.

Am I a little more selfish now? Still working on that. I don’t think I will ever be completely selfish; it’s just not in my nature. I think if anything, I will learn to set boundaries with people I meet going forward, giving my time and energy when I can for me without compromising my own happiness and wellbeing.

#radiatedaily

Image source: Kelly Ruta

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