Written by contributing blogger, Daniela Forte.
I have learned a lot of harsh lessons recently. I’m not sure whether these lessons are meant to harden me or transition me into a new phase of life. But these lessons are what I know to be true right now.
People Are Here Today, Gone Tomorrow: Not everyone who is in your life today, will be there tomorrow. I’ve always been a believer in everything happening for a reason, so I believe that to be true for anyone who is no longer part of my life.
I’ve never taken this lesson easy, it’s always been difficult because I love the people in my life, even if we had our challenges or our disagreements. But you can’t put your happiness in another person’s pocket, hoping they will hold it for you. They won’t, they will drop it every time. If you aren’t happy with yourself no one will be able to make you happy. This is with your friendships and relationships alike. You have to make yourself happy first and be content with who you are.
I have also begun to understand that circumstances in life happen so that you can learn from them and appreciate the people who have stuck around who have continued to be there when others have left. And it makes room for new people too, which is always good!
It’s All About Perspective: There was a day in early August that was absolutely terrible. I was so upset over something that was seriously minor in the grand scheme of things and then something major happened that same day that made me stop and put things into perspective about what truly mattered and what doesn’t. It was like the universe was saying, “Daniela, wake up, this is what is important!” I think when we allow situations in our lives to get the better of us, we forget about what is truly important.
Moving Forward Is Necessary: Ugh… we have to do this too. Whether it’s moving forward from people, situations, bad habits or whatever, it’s a must. I am not good at this either. I hold on with all of my might until I am forced to let go or time passes by long enough where whatever I am moving forward from is okay. This isn’t healthy. Moving forward is a day to day process. It’s a little like exercising, each time you do it (if you put the conscious effort to do so) it gets easier, but you have to start first!
Kindness is Remarkable: I have met some pretty kind people in the last couple of months, the kindness is almost unreal, nothing I have ever seen before. I feel like these are little gifts being given by the universe when you need it most.
People will Say and Do Whatever They Want, So Should You: I have always worried about other people’s feelings my whole life, (MY WHOLE LIFE). Never wanted to rock any boats, hurt any feelings, tell people what I thought, never did anything to intentionally hurt anyone.
And yet, I have found in the last couple of months maybe longer even, people do whatever they want or say whatever they want to you without any idea how it might make you feel. I have found myself recently saying, “Did that really just happen?” or “Did they really just talk to me like that?”
I also think that when these things happen, it forces you to set boundaries with people and situations. It makes you realize what you deserve and what you don’t. It forces you to say, “Hey, that is not okay.”
This is why I encourage you all reading this, tell people how you feel, defend yourself, speak up for all things holy! To put it simply do whatever you want that is best for your health and wellbeing without worrying about what other people think.
Let Your Intuition Be Your Guide: As I have gotten older, I have become more aware of the abilities of my intuition. So as an adult, I am always listening. Listening for signs and feeling them out as my guide so I know that whatever is going on in my life will turn out okay. Listen to your intuition and allow it to tell you what direction you need to go.
Anxiety Is Situational… Sometimes: We are all born with a certain disposition, it’s true. We are molded at a young age through our experiences and upbringing into the adults we are today. However, we cannot blame our families and upbringing forever, at the end of the day we make the choices we make. I personally suffer from depression and anxiety… it is the worst! I cannot begin to tell you what utter hell that is.
I have always felt I wasn’t worth anything and I always allowed and accommodated and excused people’s behavior that I know no one else would have. I have never seen my greatness nor did I believe it either.
Living everyday as a prisoner to your thoughts and trying to rise above it only to slip back into the depths of it is terrible. What I realized however, is that anxiety at times can be situational, my anxiety is. It’s developed over a series of events that occurred earlier in life and now.
It makes me fearful of everything, always waiting for the other shoe to drop, always worried that someone is upset with me or trying to hurt me, or I’ve done something wrong or blah blah blah…I sound like a broken record, but those are my thoughts…. everyday.
What am I doing about these thoughts? Nothing at the moment. Because each day is different, some days I can conquer the world, other days please let me hide under the covers.
image source: pixabay