Written by contributing blogger, Daniela Forte.
Trust is a big deal. Whether it is trust in yourself or trust in others. It’s not something you play around with. For a number of years now, trusting myself and others has been a constant battle.
The lack of trust has come from circumstances in my life where trust was violated and I was left terribly hurt and humiliated. The only answer at the time was to self-protect, live on-guard at all times and bite before I am bitten.
I wouldn’t let anyone, even those I was closest to make me out to be a fool. How sad this life has been. I have always been one to rely on intuition (most of the time… I have trouble trusting that too), so I have let my feelings be my guide.
Have they always been correct? Sometimes. Not always. Have I hurt myself and others with my lack of trust? Yep, pretty much.
In the last several months I had my trust violated again and I was hurt by a person with whom I had regained trust in.
Where has that left me? Feeling sorry for myself, beating myself up for not knowing better and just being down and out about life.
In the midst of this I am finding though, I realized I need to start trusting again. No, not with the person who just hurt me, I am not there yet… not by a long shot, if ever. But with people who have shown up through all of this, people who don’t have to be here. People with whom I had lost close relationships with because of my lack of trust in them at some point in my life.
What can I tell you about all of this?
Not Everyone Is Out to Get You: You will always meet people who will hurt you. There is no question about that. But not everyone is out to get you. Not everyone will stick the knife in you at the first chance they get. People make mistakes, they go through their own life’s tribulations and sometimes come out different people. On the flip-side, you will meet some pretty bad people. Hurt people. People who live with so much pain that the only thing they know how to do is inflict pain on others.
With Every New End Comes a New Beginning: I have watched this happen, as this one person left my life, three people came in. People I had bad endings with years ago have shown me more kindness than I could have imagined. And the funny thing is, I love these people so much now, more than I probably did the first time they were here.
Trusting Yourself is Vital: Always have trust in yourself. Trust that whatever decision you make is the right one. No one is you and like they say, that is your power.
Trust in the Timing of Your Life: Have you ever felt so pressured to be where everyone else is? A rush to some imaginary finish line? I feel this way. I feel like I have to do these three things: get over shit, find a man and get married. Why? Because I’m 35-years-old and time is ticking away. But what we must understand is that everything comes in divine timing. Some of us may take longer than others, experience things later than others. And that’s okay. But this pressure!
Trust the Process: We often don’t understand why things happen as they do. We wonder why things were forced upon us that we would have never allowed in the first place. I have always had a belief that when you aren’t dealing with your life, like really dealing with it, fate steps in. And when it does, it may not be pretty, but whatever it is, it’s necessary. So trust the process of what is unfolding in your life right now.
Lastly, Move Forward: I have to say, this is the hardest part about it all. Acceptance. But you have to trust that whatever is gone is better that way and whatever is coming is far greater. You don’t have to move forward all at once, you can take it one day at a time, heal at your own pace, your own rhythm. Don’t dwell in the hurt too long, or as my friend would say, “don’t unpack and live there.” In life, you may not get all the answers to your questions, you may not get the “I’m sorry” you’re seeking and as time goes on what you will find is that you won’t need it anymore. Life will have changed, and so will your perspective.
image source – pixabay